Whether it happens as a result of sex stuff, following bizarre internet advice or just plain boredom, you may be surprised to know that the US Consumer Product Safety Commission actually keeps a database of Emergency Room (ER) visits and what’s bringing people in.
Yep, plain and simple, the US government has a sizeable (but anonymous, don’t worry) list of every time a patient has come in with something up their rear end.
Defector has sifted through the most recent data from 2024 to round up some of the most shocking and downright baffling items that were reported to be stuck inside American, um, cavities.
Stand-out additions include uncooked pasta, vape pens and lightbulbs (Getty Stock Images)
Other than sex toys, including a 24-inch-long dildo, which are understandably fairly obvious, the standout additions include:
– Nails
– Screws and nails
– Baseball (Reason given: ‘to see what it felt like’)
– Uncooked pasta
– Egg
– Dog chew toy
– Dryer sheet
– Sandal
– Door knob
– Marbles
– Eyeglasses
– Rock
– Beard clippers wrapped in plastic (Reason given: ‘was feeling constipated for two days’)
– Turkey baster
– Plastic cleanser bottle full of liquid
– Shampoo bottle (Reason given: ‘slipped in the shower’)
– Shampoo bottle (Reason given: ‘was bored’)
– Lubricant bottle
– Enema bottle
– Aerosol can
– Dental pick
– Wine stopper
– Corn cob holder
– Highlighter
– Invisible marker
– Two pencils
– Magic wand toy
– 7-inch dildo and pliers (used to try to remove dildo)
– Broken piece of butt plug and tweezers (used to try to remove butt plug piece)
– Film canister
– Battery-powered light
– Flashlight
– Plastic coat hanger with outside of hanger cut off so he could drive to ER
– Penny
– Light bulb, glass side first (The bulb ‘got sucked up’ due to ‘suction effect’)
– Vape pen
– Corncob-style pipe
– Rubber gasket
– Piece of nose hair trimmer
– Rectangular travel toothbrush
– Baton
– Hair tie
Well, I guess you really do learn something new every day…