But experts say true sexual skill isn’t about tricks, instead it’s about your connection, as well as communicating and being aware.
The Metro highlighted that there are nine clear indicators that suggest you’re actually doing pretty well under the sheets, as the publication spoke to each of the following sex and relationship professionals. So, if you’re dying to know whether you have what it takes to leave a partner wanting more, all you need to do is read on!
Your partner wants to do it again
This is kind of an obvious one but… it’s the ultimate sign. Annabelle Knight, sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney, told the publication that being good in bed is about how you make someone feel – ‘safe, wanted, listened to, and fully included’.
If they’re keen for a repeat, you’re probably doing something right.
You don’t obsess over orgasms
Sex isn’t meant to be a race, as sex and relationships psychotherapist at 3Fun, Gigi Engle, explained: “Great lovers aren’t chasing orgasms like they’re the end-all-be-all for being good at sex.”
Instead, it’s about ‘pacing, curiosity, and staying attuned to our partner’s pleasure’.
You’re genuinely enthusiastic
You don’t need to know every sex position to be good in bed, as Knight noted: “Being present, engaged, and clearly interested is often more attractive than any specific move or technique.”
Enthusiasm, whether that’s physical or spoken, reassures your partner they’re wanted.
You’re comfortable slowing things down
Porn might prioritise speed, but real intimacy often thrives on patience.
“Comfort with slowing down is an underrated sign of sexual skill,” Engle added, taking your time builds trust and allows you to connect properly – which plays a huge role in pleasure.
You listen – and adapt
Asking someone what they like in bed only matters if you act on it. Knight explains: “The most reliable signal isn’t what you think happened afterwards, it’s whether your partner felt comfortable enough to be honest in the moment.”
You read non-verbal cues
Unfortunately, not everything can be spelled out. But if you’re well connected with your partner, Knight says you can ‘pick up on tension, hesitation, relaxation, and enthusiasm, and adjust in real time’.
You respect boundaries
How you respond to a ‘no’ matters.
“One of the clearest signs you’re good in bed is how you respond to a ‘no’. If you can take feedback gracefully, you’re definitely flying above the grade sexually,” Engle explained.
Boundaries create trust, not rejection.
You handle nerves and changes well
Engle says managing pauses or shifting arousal without taking it personally creates a safe atmosphere.
“Confidence in bed isn’t acting or fake,” she notes, adding: “And it makes you better at sex!”
You treat aftercare as essential
Engle explains: “People who are good in bed understand that sex doesn’t end the moment everyone gets off.”
Whether it’s cuddling or checking in, sex is better when you know it doesn’t end immediately after.