Age, children, living together, and jobs can all play a part in the final figure but despite many experts sitting on the fence when it comes to giving a cold, hard number, one claims to have the answer.
The number may come as a surprise from Dr Nicole McNichols, who is a professor of human sexuality at the University of Washington.
While the shocking data of married couples and how often they get it on can shock young couples, the professor says that quality is paramount in getting this figure up. The expert, who teaches The Diversity of Human Sexuality at the university, says that she asks students to figure out what makes a satisfying sex life.
Dr McNichols has dispelled the belief that having a good time between the sheets equates to having a good relationship overall, as she explained that the opposite is actually true. The better the sex a couple manages to have, the more likely they are to think of their long-term relationship as satisfying.
Analysing data which looks at the path of thousands of couples, the professor explained that sexual satisfaction came before relationship satisfaction, more times than not.
She looked at couples who kept diaries over time, finding that ‘how happy and satisfied with life’ they were, usually correlated with ‘an uptick in sexual satisfaction’, she explained on the Modern Love podcast.
Revealing the number you should be aiming for, she said: “When we look at the benefit of sex to relationship well-being, it doesn’t increase after about once a week.
“That’s not an astronomical amount of time,” she said, as previous studies have suggested the same.
It may be music to the ears for couples struggling to find moments in a hectic week, though the professor said that if couples want to have sex more often than this, that’s good for them.
She found that one time a week is enough to indicate that the relationship will be happy in the long-term, though it goes beyond frequency.
Dr McNichols said that introducing something new once a month keeps things fresh, adding that this doesn’t mean you should be ‘going to a sex shop’ every four weeks.
“That’s fantastic if you want to try that. But it can be as subtle as instead of missionary, lifted missionary,” she pointed out when speaking about sex positions.
She went on: “It could be having sex in a different room, having sex while you’re on vacation, having sex at a different time of day than you normally do, having sex, that is, with all the lights on, having sex with the lights off.
“It really is about owning your own particular brand of what makes you come to a sexual situation feeling empowered to show up, assert your own needs, communicate, and have a mutually pleasurable experience,” the professor highlighted.
Data from YouGov showed that the majority of UK couples have sex less often than once a week, with six in 10 couples fitting into this category.
Just one in 10 couples claimed to do the deed weekly – apparently, it’s time to pull your socks up.