It looks like something you could walk past in almost any cemetery without giving it a second thought. But look a little closer.
Because Steven Paul Owens’ family deliberately hid something within the wording.
And once people realized exactly what his headstone was saying, the seemingly heartfelt memorial became the center of a major controversy.
Some people thought the family’s final joke was a perfect tribute to the man they loved. Others were considerably less impressed.
Cemetery officials objected to the message, while concerns were also raised over whether something like it belonged in a shared space where other families were visiting their loved ones.
Years later, however, the unusual memorial is still attracting attention. So can you spot what’s wrong with it?
The headstone initially looks completely ordinary
Steven Paul Owens died on September 2, 2021, at the age of 59.
He was laid to rest at Warren-Powers Cemetery in rural Polk County, Iowa, where his family later installed the headstone that would unexpectedly make national news.
Steven’s relatives remembered him as a fun-loving man with a distinctive sense of humor.
His obituary said he enjoyed fishing, playing flag football and softball, coaching his children and attending their activities.
He also adored his grandchildren and had previously worked at Highland Memory Gardens and Pine Hill Cemeteries before later retiring from the printing industry.
But when his children began thinking about how they wanted their father to be remembered, it was his personality they particularly wanted to capture.
His son Zachary Owens described Steven as someone who was easily wound up in a playful way, with friends and relatives apparently enjoying trying to provoke one particular response from him.
That family joke ultimately became an important part of the memorial they created.
But instead of openly placing Steven’s trademark expression on his headstone, his relatives came up with a much subtler idea.
So subtle, in fact, that someone could read the entire inscription without realizing anything unusual was there.
Contemporary local reporting from KCCI confirmed that the family intentionally designed the memorial around the expression.
His family wanted the memorial to actually feel like him
One side of Steven’s headstone contains his name and the dates of his life.
It also features a family saying which reads: “If you don’t listen, you’ll have to feel.”
But it was the inscription on the other side that eventually caused the controversy.
When read normally, the wording appears completely sentimental.
It talks about Steven remaining forever in his family’s hearts, meeting again one day and the cherished memories they shared.
It also lists the many roles he held within his family, remembering him as a son, brother, father, papa, uncle, friend and cousin.
Nothing about those sentiments appears particularly controversial. The secret is hidden somewhere else.
Steven’s daughter Lindsay Owens told KCCI that the phrase her family had concealed was essentially one of her father’s unusual terms of endearment.
She explained: “If he didn’t like you, he didn’t speak to you.”
In other words, while strangers might regard the expression as rude, the Owens family associated it with Steven’s humor and the way he interacted with people he cared about.
For them, incorporating it into his headstone wasn’t intended as an insult toward their father. Quite the opposite.
They viewed it as one final inside joke.
Cemetery officials weren’t laughing
The people responsible for the cemetery saw things rather differently.
Staff told KCCI at the time that they had opposed the headstone and believed the language concealed within it was inappropriate for a cemetery.
The disagreement raised a broader question about how much freedom families should have when choosing memorials in a shared burial ground.
Steven’s relatives understandably wanted something that represented the man they had actually known.
But cemetery officials also had to consider everyone else visiting loved ones buried nearby.
The Camp Township Trustees, who oversee Warren-Powers Cemetery, subsequently became involved.
CNN reported in 2022 that the trustees objected to the hidden message and were concerned about the precedent that allowing it could create for future memorials.
Officials questioned where they would be able to draw the line if deliberately offensive language was permitted, even when it was disguised within otherwise innocent wording.
The possibility of legal action was also discussed after the headstone had been installed.
Yet Steven’s children continued to defend their decision.
His family insisted they never wanted to upset anyone
The Owens family said causing distress to other people visiting the cemetery had never been the intention.
For them, the headstone was about their relationship with Steven.
Zachary explained that the family had created it because they loved their father and wanted to remember him as he really was.
He also argued that people weren’t required to closely inspect the memorial if they didn’t like what had been written on it.
His sister similarly stressed that the intention was not to offend strangers.
The disagreement therefore came down to two very different ideas of what a memorial should be.
Should a headstone primarily reflect the personality and wishes of the deceased person’s family?
Or does placing it within a public cemetery mean families also have a responsibility to consider how other visitors might respond?
That debate helped the story travel far beyond one cemetery in Iowa.
And there was another reason people couldn’t stop talking about Steven’s headstone.
You actually have to know how to read it before anything appears wrong.
Most people could walk straight past without noticing
Unlike an openly controversial inscription, Steven’s hidden message doesn’t immediately jump out.
If you simply read each sentence normally, you get an ordinary family tribute.
There isn’t an obvious insult sitting in the middle of the text.
There isn’t a shocking word carved in enormous letters.
Instead, the family used the structure of the inscription itself.
That is why pictures of the headstone work almost like an optical illusion.
You know something unusual is there. You can stare directly at the writing.
And yet it may still take a while to figure out what everybody is talking about.
The story continued circulating online after first making headlines in 2022, with viewers debating whether the memorial was funny, inappropriate or perhaps a bit of both.
Even years later, new audiences are still discovering it.
But before revealing the trick, take one more look.
Can you spot the secret message?
Don’t concentrate too heavily on what the inscription says. The individual phrases aren’t the problem.
Instead, look at how they have been arranged.
The tribute begins with a line about Steven remaining forever in his family’s hearts. The next refers to meeting again.
Another speaks of cherished memories. The inscription then continues with references to Steven and the different roles he played within his family.
Read horizontally and it sounds like an entirely conventional memorial. But now stop reading from left to right.
Look vertically instead.
More specifically, focus on the first letter at the beginning of each line.
That’s where the family’s private joke was hiding all along.
The first letters contain the real message
Steven’s family had deliberately created what is known as an acrostic.
An acrostic is a piece of writing in which particular letters – often the first letter of each line – combine to form a second word or message.
And that is exactly what happened here.
When the first letters of the seven carefully arranged lines on Steven’s headstone are read vertically, they form a blunt two-word expletive effectively telling somebody to go away.
That’s the secret message that caused all the controversy.
We’re not reproducing the wording here, but it was an expression Steven’s relatives said he regularly used jokingly with people he liked.
The arrangement was completely intentional. It wasn’t vandalism. It wasn’t added after the memorial was installed.
And it wasn’t an unfortunate coincidence nobody had noticed during the design process.
Steven’s children deliberately concealed the phrase because, to them, it captured their father’s sense of humor perfectly.
For his family, what appeared offensive to strangers was actually something deeply personal.
The family later revealed what happened to the headstone
When the controversy originally erupted in 2022, there were questions over whether Steven’s family might eventually be forced to remove or alter the memorial.
But an update later that year suggested the dispute had gone quiet.
In December 2022, Lindsay told TODAY that her family had not received another update from the Camp Township Board of Trustees.
She also confirmed: “His stone still remains.”
There was even an additional family tradition taking place at the grave.
Lindsay said relatives would leave a small drink for Steven at his memorial, although someone apparently kept removing it.
The family also said they had received messages of support from people around the country after the story went viral.
While there were inevitably people who disliked the headstone, Lindsay said the negative responses represented a relatively small proportion of the messages they received.
And the memorial appears to have survived for considerably longer than the family might initially have feared.
The unusual headstone is still attracting attention in 2026
Nearly five years after Steven’s death, his headstone has found another audience.
The story has resurfaced repeatedly online throughout 2026, introducing thousands more people to the family’s carefully concealed joke.
More significantly, there has been no widely reported court ruling ordering the family to remove the memorial.
Iowa PBS currently includes the Owens headstone in its guide to the state’s most unusual memorials, identifying it as being at Warren-Powers Cemetery in Polk County and explaining that its arrangement contains a hidden profanity.
Fresh reports published in 2026 have also continued to describe the headstone as remaining at the cemetery, although much of that coverage revisits the original 2022 dispute rather than reporting a new legal battle.
There doesn’t appear to be strong evidence that cemetery officials are currently pursuing a fresh campaign to have it removed in 2026.
Instead, the old controversy has found a new life online.
And years after his family created the unusual tribute, Steven is still doing exactly what they said he tended to do in life: Getting people talking.
Whether the hidden message strikes you as inappropriate or as an unusually personal way of honoring someone, one thing is undeniable.
Without being told where to look, would you ever have spotted it?