They say that people always find out about affairs, particularly if your partner goes on a sporadic solo trip to Magaluf, but others have managed to stay silent about their sexual subterfuge.
A 50-year-old woman has now shared her story about how she’s managed to sustain a sexual relationship with a married man for over 14 years, with her husband and two kids still seemingly clueless after 14 years.
She revealed her eight rules for avoiding suspicion in a piece for The Sun, and while you could argue that writing about it in a national newspaper is a surefire way to get caught, she has taken care to swap the names of those involved.
Caroline, as she calls herself in the piece, writes: “For 14 long years we’ve conducted our illicit affair – and we have no intention of stopping – I can’t imagine life without him. He’s my soulmate and I love him.
“For that reason I’ll never risk being discovered – which is why we’re both fiercely practical and, despite being in love, never get swept away by emotions. Love affairs that are wild and reckless get discovered.”
Having met at a work conference back in 2011, Caroline and Dan began their love affair, which has seen them meet up roughly every 10 days ever since, and neither shows any signs of stopping despite marriages at home.
She did face some guilt at first, particularly when her young children asked her about her ‘work conferences’ but her husband’s unwillingness to change is what drove her to the arms of another man.
Caroline added: “I hugged my secret close, reliving those moments I’d spent with Dan, where I’d felt so liberated and sexy for the first time since having children. I knew I would see him again. And we’ve been meeting up every 10 days or so ever since.”
She then goes on to explain that her first rule is not to be greedy, as seeing Dan more often could easily lead her to be discovered, as more reckless affairs are often the first ones to be found out.
Her eight rules in full were.
1) Turn off apps that monitor location
2) Tell only one confidante
3) Stick to soft drinks as it’s more business like
4) Never mention new interests or change behaviour
5) Expect the worst and always have an excuse
6) Be vague and unavailable
7) Choose a lover who is also married
8) Don’t get greedy with meet-ups
Now, while they might work for her, there’s no guarantee that they will work for you, and breaking up a relationship is probably always a better option than cheating. Especially if cheating means you can never mention a new interest or change anything about yourself ever again.
But it’s clearly worked for Caroline, who concluded: “I thought the passion would wane or that I’d be overtaken by guilt and end it. Neither has happened.
“The initial lust has turned into love — I adore every part of Dan, he makes me feel safe, loved and valued.
“Other than my children, there’s no one I’d rather spend time with.”